30 Funny Seafarer Quotes About Boats, Sailors & the Sea

Jul 18, 2023 · 8 mins read ·

Fun Stuff
a cat on a beach wearing a sailor costume

Welcome to the Martide blog where we love a good seafarer quote! In the past, we’ve covered everything from quotes about compasses, quotes about anchors, quotes about storms, and inspirational quotes for seamen to name just a few. Some of these quotes are motivational, some are intriguing, but we’ve never created a list of funny quotes for seafarers - until now!

We usually go into quite a bit of depth about the authors of our favorite seafarer quotes, but as this is a list of funny quotes about the ocean, boats, sailors and sailing, we thought we’d just give the quotes to you straight!

Plus, a lot of the authors of these seaman quotes are unknown, so there’s not much we can tell you about them!

Read more: 10 of Martide's Top Seafarer Quotes About Storms at Sea

So without further ado, let’s take a look at 30 funny seafarer quotes about boats, ships, sailors, the ocean, sailing and all other things nautical!

A list of 30 funny seafarer quotes

  1. "A boat is a hole in the water into which you pour money." - Kin Hubbard
  2. “The only thing that is constant about sailing is change." - Unknown
  3. "An anchor is a heavy object that keeps a boat from floating away. It's also a great way to make a boat look like it's sinking." - Unknown
  4. "A boat is like a pet. It's expensive, it's a lot of work, and it's always shedding." - Unknown
  5. “Out of sight of land, the sailor feels safe. It is the beach that worries him.” ― Charles Davis

Read more: 10 of Martide’s Best Seaman Quotes About the Ocean

6. “Sailing is like chess - you have to stay one step ahead of the waves." - Unknown

7. "A boat is a hole in the water surrounded by wood, with a hole in the middle to sit in." - Groucho Marx

8.  “The sea is a cruel mistress, but a good laugh is the ultimate life preserver." - Unknown

9. "I'm not sure what's worse, being stranded at sea or being stranded with an anchor." - Unknown

10. "A boat is a floating home that doesn't have a driveway." - Jimmy Buffett

Read more: 12 of Martide's Favorite Seamen Quotes

11. “When the going gets tough, the tough get a compass and a quip." - Unknown

12. “If you're not sure which direction to go, just follow the seagulls - they always know where the party's at." - Unknown

13. "A boat is like a marriage. It requires commitment and effort to keep it afloat." - Unknown

14. “The sea may be unpredictable, but a good sense of humor is always on course." - Unknown

15. “Only two sailors, in my experience, never ran aground. One never left port, and the other was an atrocious liar.” - Don Bamford

Read more: 10 Seafarer Quotes That We Love About Sailing

16. “A boat is the only place where you can wake up in the morning and say, 'Where am I?' and it's not a crime." - Unknown

17. “Navigating the seas is all about finding your sea legs and your funny bone." - Unknown

18. “It is not that life ashore is distasteful to me. But life at sea is better.” - Sir Francis Drake

19. "A boat is the only place where you can be alone with a crowd." - Unknown

20. “The best way to avoid a mutiny? Keep your crew laughing." - Unknown

Read more: 10 Inspirational Quotes for Seamen About Storms

21. "A boat is the only place where you can get a tan and a sunburn at the same time." - Unknown

22. “Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be Pirates” - Mark Twain

23. "I love the sea, but I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere." - Anakin Skywalker

24. "A ship is always referred to as 'she' because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder." - Kin Hubbard

25. “Work like a captain and play like a pirate.” - Unknown

Read more: 10 of Martide's Favorite Seafarer Quotes About Rowing

26. "Any damn fool can navigate the world sober. It takes a really good sailor to do it drunk.” - Sir Francis Chichester

27. “A rough day at sea is still better than any day in the office.” ― Anonymous

28. “You there, are you a sailor?”... “Ja’ think I’m a cowboy?” - Popeye

29. "There is nothing – absolutely nothing – half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats.” - Kenneth Grahame

30. “It’s scary to have a 30 foot wave chasing you. If you are steering, you don’t look back. The crew looks back for you, and you watch their faces. When they look straight up, then get ready!” - Magnus Olsson

Read more: 10 of Martide's Favorite Seafarer Quotes About Ships

So there we have it: 30 mildly amusing or funny quotes for seafarers about boats, ships, the sea and sailing. Did any of them amuse you? Or do you know more funny quotes about sailors and sailing?

If so, why not share them with us on our social media pages? You can find (and follow!) us on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook and Pinterest.

Meanwhile, if you’re looking for more seaman quotes, check out the posts that we’ve linked to above or take a look at some of our other posts with quotes about diving, quotes about sailing, motivational quotes about storms at sea and even inspiring seaman quotes in Tagalog.

That’s all the funny seamen quotes we have to share with you today but stay tuned because there will probably be plenty more coming soon in a future blog post!

Read the previous post in this series12 Intriguing Seafarer Quotes About Storms

Eve Church

Eve Church

Eve is Martide's content writer, publishing regular posts on everything from our maritime recruitment and crew planning software to life at sea. Eve has been writing professionally for more than two decades, crafting everything from SEO-focused blog posts and website landing pages to magazine articles and corporate whitepapers.


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